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I’m 29-years-old. Did you know that? I am. I had my first son at an early age (23) and my 2nd son quickly followed. Although I began both my career and family at 23-years-old (when many of my friends were still going out until 4AM and vacationing in Cancun) I had become a grown-up. A real adult. I had others to take care of, an alarm to answer to, a mortgage payment, all that good stuff. I effecienly ran my household (the cooking has since dramatically improved, I must admit) and was an extremely responsible employee of my school district. Still, I had a mother, father, an older sister and an older brother. I was still considered “the baby.” I didn’t make the holiday plans rather, I was told when and where to show up. I didn’t organize family gatherings except for my kids’ birthday party. I was never the first one informed on any news of health issues or family problems because my mom didn’t want to “upset” me. I was still in the minds of my family a child….I had been so for so long, that the adjustment of Shannon the Free Spirit to Shannon the Adult was a tough one for them. I don’t think it ever crossed their minds that as a teacher, my job is to be the boss to 120 kids. I am the adult in the classroom. I make the decisions, I discipline the kids, I am in charge. In all honesty, I didn’t mind that I was still treated and thought of that way in my family. Really. Until recently. It was just all getting a bit old.
Here’s how this past week went down:
My mother needed to have surgery, and it was scheduled for this past Wednesday. The recovery process was expected to last about six weeks. That wasthe big news surrounding our family: who would help out dad, who would visit the hospital at what time so there was always someone there, which days we were going to help at the house when mom was recovering, etc, etc. Then Monday night, my sister’s son was rushed to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. My brother took my two neices (ages 11 and 3) to his house to spend the night. At 1 AM my sister-in-law and I were still on the phone making arrangements and plans as to how we were now going to balance caring for our neices while Holly was in the hospital with Spence, as well as care for my mom at the same time. We figured out who would meet with Spencer’s teacher and explain the situation, take Emma back and forth to daycare, take care of Kaylena while Emma was in daycare, take off of work to be with my dad on Wednesday morning while my mom had surgery. We hammered out a plan, delegated responsibilities, and that was that. My sister was floored, my mother amazed, and I am no longer the baby of the family.
I’ve been promoted. It just took 29 years.
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Shannon,
I never told you this, but the night I was in the hospital with Spence, Kaylena called me from Amy’s house. Amy was talking in the background and I heard her say, “OK, so what’s his teacher’s name?” I told Kaylena that I wanted to talk to Amy and she said that she was on the phone with you. It was at that moment that I realized you were handling everything for me - without even discussing it with me or asking for my opinion. I was so impressed not only with the fact that you delegated who was caring for the girls when, but you also thought about what needed to be done for Spence since he was missing his last day of school. I didn’t even think of that and I’m his mother! For the record, I tell people all the time how proud I am of you. Sure, I’m proud of how far you and Keith have come, knowing how difficult it was because you started your family and career at a young age - but I’m most proud of what an incredible mother and teacher you are. I haven’t thought of you as my “little sister” in a long time - I think of you as this strong, caring, funny woman who I’m fortunate enough to have as my best friend and blessed to have as my sister.
Love,
Holly
Shan,
I didn’t realize how much I really do (DID)make you feel like the baby of the family by protecting you from anything that might be upsetting. Looking back, you’ve handled situations in your life with maturity beyond your years. You’ve always been a leader and a teacher since a very young age (cheerleading coach, helped me deliver The Buffalo News when you were 7 because your older siblings were in an air-band contest). You worked 2 jobs while going to college and managed to always make your studying and papers a priority,…I could go on and on. Over the summer when I was recovering, our roles reversed and I didn’t even realize it because you handled it effortlessly and made me feel so protected and well-taken care of. Going forward I promise to share the good, bad and the ugly with you because I know we’ll handle it together, equally drawing strength from each other. One thing I will not change though, is ocassionally calling you Babycakes! So what time is Thanksgiving dinner at your house this year!?
Love you,
Mom