Different English Styles (by Mrs. Styles)

Did you ever encounter a family that had a terror of a child with them?  You know, that family you see at the mall where the child is screaming and running and even though the parents look worried and keep telling the child to stop, you still think, “I’ll never have a child like that.  I’ll never parent my child that way.”  Well, I had that experience the other day, except the children happened to be my 10th grade class. 

I had taken a personal day and left some very hefty work for the kids to complete while I was out.  The substitute was a former teacher, and I also had the special ed teacher in the room.  In my mind, the class should havewent very smoothly.  I came back the next day to a whole bunch of awfulness.  I was informed that the sub will never sub for me again because of the actions of sixteen 10th graders.  It was so embarrassing; I think even more embarrassing than if my own children would’ve acted badly for a babysitter.  I felt as if this was such a poor reflection on my own teaching and classroom management.  I felt disrespected by these students, that they would think it would be okay to act this way in my classroom while I was out.  I felt belittled by a project that was handed in by a group of young men (who chose to act more like boys than young men that day.  Young men is a compliment.) that had a drawing and expletive written on it.  Mostly though, I felt embarrassed for them that when they suffered the consequences of their actions (a day of in-school suspension for two of the boys who handed in the poster), they were angry with me.  How and when will these young men  learn to own up to their actions and accept responsibility?  They proceeded to act like their former 5-year-old selves as they whined and complained about the punishment.  I know I’m in for it from them for the rest of the year, but I can only hope that they are able to learn and grow from this. 

So, today is the day.  Any person from Western New York (or really, any northern state for that matter) can not honestly tell me that this thought has not crossed their mind at one point or another:  Has the sun died?  Is it really gone forever, because it sure feels like I haven’t seen it in a good 3 months.  It’s freezing and gray and snowy and blustery.  It’s slushy and icy and slippery.  It’s winter, and although I embrace winter and all of it’s freezing attributes, today is the day when I actually wonder if the sun has enough power to eventually thaw this city out.  Normally, when it’s a pretty winter day (as it is today) and I have no immediate need to go outside (as I don’t today) I love to look out my window and feel all nice and warm and cozy while standing on the heating vent.  Normally, I love sitting infront of the fireplace watching a movie.  Normally, I love going sledding.  Normally, I think that spring will be here soon and the birds will be chirping and the windows will be open and all that good stuff.  But not today.  Today is just too darn cold and spring seems so far away.  And I really think the sun has packed up and abandoned New York for good.  Maybe the taxes were too high. 

As I am sitting here, I am wearing (no lie) a black Power Rangers mask because my 3-year-old wants me to.  My 5-year-old is trying so hard to read a book on his own and is painstakingly sounding out each word as he reads.  I just corrected thirty short stories written by freshmen and was blown away by many of them; I couldn’t help commenting, “I’m so proud of you!” on many of the rubrics that will be handed back to them on Monday.  And so I am thankful.  I am thankful not only for my own children, but for the kids at school whom I get to watch grow.  I experience the same pride with those kids that I experience with my own kids at home.  Aside from having better hair and a whole lot more money, I guess I really have everything for which I need to be thankful this year.  Happy Thanksgiving!

I need some help teachers…  I currently have a 10th grade class that has varied abilities.  It is a blended class, with about 1/3 of the students classified, most with reading and writing goals.  There are also five students who were in Honors English last year, but chose not to take it this year, and then the rest of the class who seem to hold their own and put forth great effort. My question is this:  has anyone ever taught 2 separate novels in the same class?  The five students that were in honors last year, are beginning to complain about the simplicity in the class.  I’d like to challenge them, but not overwhelm the classified students or the other students who might get lost with a more difficult novel.  The special ed teacher and I were tossing the idea around of teaching 2 separate novels.  Any suggestions or feedback?  Thanks for your help!

It’s official.  I’ve officially lost my mind.  I’ve known it’s been coming, looming overhead like some awful monster about to attack.  I could feel it.  It happened yesterday during my 10th grade class.  All hell broke loose and my students saw the spawn of the devil in me as I chewed them out for their disrespectful behavior, spewing the words “rude” and “disrespectful” and “ashamed and embarassed of your actions.”  There was silence in the room, and then muttered apologizies, and a whole lot of staring at the sneakers.  And there should have been! They needed to hear it!  But, deep down I feel so so so bad because I truly and genuinely like all of these kids and want them to be successful, so giving them the “rude and disrespectful” lecture (NOT in a nice voice, let me say) is not a fun thing for me to do.  But when the bell rang, and I heard them push out into the hallway saying, “dude, you should’ve just seen Mrs. Styles!  She’s p#@*#@ off!”  I couldn’t help but laugh. 

So tonight is my high school reunion.  I’m not going.  I wish I was going, but I’m not.  Oh, it’s for a good reason–my son has hockey.  Also, not many of my close friends  that I graduated with are going, either.  When I look at my students, I can see so much of myself in some of them.  They act like I acted, they get upset at some of the things I got upset about, they laugh at the same ridiculous things that I laughed at.  And I look at them and have all of these secret wishes for them for their futures.

I wish for them to remember who they are and not change to try to please others.

I wish that they learn the best way to use their strengths and how to shed their weaknesses.

I wish that they learn from their weaknesses.

I wish they stay in contact with their friends after school.

I wish that they are not afraid to make new ones, either.

I wish that they become advocates from themselves.

I wish that they have fun but stay responsible.

I wish they learn the value of giving and being grateful for what they have.

I wish they realized now, how some very poor choices can have monumental effects.

I wish they learn to be happy.  So many are not.

Mostly, I wish I could tell them all of this, but at this age, they don’t want to hear it.  The best I can do is teach them well, and hope that I have instilled the ability to learn this for themselves when they are ready.

Did you ever have one of those days where it seems that every student is against you?  Where nothing you do is right?  Where you want to put your head on your desk and go to sleep for 3 hours right there in the middle of class?  And then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, someone comes around and makes it…better.  Today was one of those days.  I was at the end of my rope and in a total state of self pity after a particularly long class.  Then, as I was returning back to my classroom (or “__  assroom” as it says on my door.  14-year-olds can be clever) I found a former student peeking into my room looking for me.  When he saw me round the corner, he said (with a smile on his face, no less!) “Mrs. Styles!  I’ve been looking for you!  I just wanted to say hi and see how you were!”    Now, I know this seems like no big deal, but if you could see the sincere look on his face and you knew the history of this kid, it would have melted your heart.  And just like that, my day was better.  Go figure.

At which point in our lives are we supposed to shed the inner-child of ourselves?  With me, I’m not talking my 6-year-old inner child who just wants her mom sometimes, but I’m talking my unsure, ‘who am I?’ teenager-type-inner child.  When is that going to go away?  I thought it was gone for awhile, but then I stepped into the high school position and I’m constantly reminded of my 15-year-old self all day long.  This is not to say that I didn’t like high school.  Because I did.  A lot.  But when I stand in front of twenty teenagers at a time and then one starts to laugh at something, and then another, and soon you have a whole section of kids that are trying hard not to laugh at something that I just don’t get,  I can’t help but wonder, “oh no, why are they laughing at me?”  To be honest with you, when I was in high school and we were all laughing at something, 99% of the time it was the teacher.  Which is why you can imagine my defensiveness towards the laughter.  However, I was also the type of kid who always thought someone was laughing at me…even if they weren’t.  So this is like a double-whammy for me.  I’d just really like to shed my inner 15-year-old for awhile… I’d take my inner 20-year-old self anyday, though. 

I’ve come to realize that my students think I am a total loser.  I don’t necessarily think I am a total loser, however in the eyes of 15-year-olds, I’m sure I do seem like a total loser.  Last Friday, when one of my students asked me what I was doing that night I replied with excitement, “I’m going grocery shopping!”  Hey, it was the first payday of the year, and my cupboards were BARE!!!  Not so cool to a freshman, though.  Also, to further prove my point of loserdom, when asked what kind of vehicle I drive I responded with my current vehicle of the Chevy Equinox.  Not a super cool car, but not completely dorky either…until they saw me driving home and pointed out that my Equinox is adorned with numerous stickers from trips to the  doctor and dentist.  (My children’s doing, not mine.)  My best friend and I were talking a few months ago about how predictable our lives are; how our students probably wouldn’t be stunned to find out any info on us.  We don’t have super juicy secrets, we’re not thrill-seekers where we bungee-jump or skydive.  We don’t even go out anymore unless you count “Kids Eat Free” nights at local restaurants!  My husband plays basketball on Tuesday nights.  My children are involved in hockey, baseball, and skating lessons.  My downtime (ha!) is spent either going to the gym or reading.  That’s right, reading.  The one thing that most teenagers dread and avoid at all costs.  I must admit I love to read People Magazine and Us Weekly, which keeps me up on the Britney and Lindsey gossip, however I’m really considering taking up some super cool hobby so my students will not view me as their dorky old English teacher.  Maybe I’ll trade in the Equinox for a Harley–that should do it.   

Well, it was the first day of school today and all went very well.  The kids were great and I think some may have been actually happy to see me again!  What a change from their middle school days!  I can’t believe what a difference just a few years can make in regards to maturity.  I really thought I was losing my mind  for a good three months last year when I had six classes of seventh graders.  Now, I see former students who could have easily pushed me off the edge and plunged me straight down into the depths of all-out insanity, and now they are so NICE!  They’re courteous, well-mannered, respectful, funny, smart, and much much taller.  I’m so glad I took the risk of changing grade levels and leaving my comfort zone.  It would have been so easy to stay where I was, content with what I was doing, and feeling like my place in education was  ”good enough.”  It was a scary thought to pack up my room, leave my colleagues that I had grown so comfortable with, move to the high school where I had to scrap all of my former plans and start from scratch.  It was something I almost didn’t pursue just because I was so darn comfortable.  I know, even from day 1 today,  that this was absolutely the right thing to do, even if it will lead to occasional moments of  uncomfortable-ness.  (And I mean that literally.  It was probably close to 95 degrees in my room today.  Really uncomfortable.)  Sometimes even us non-risk takers need to take some risks!